you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit