Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

well..are you winning?

Fav 24 1802 877
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.

Fav 3 3536 751
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society

Fav 55 1255 4296
share tweet
(408): View more from California

You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.

Fav 15 4641 1096
share tweet
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps

Fav 8 4525 1324
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph

Fav 11 5095 1526
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.

Fav 6 3753 1641
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.

Fav 3 999 739
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(210): View more from Texas

Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.

Fav 1 42 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT