I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
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we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.