Sry I called you an 8
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms