If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.