remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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