Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low