She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i need to put some appletini on your dick
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