do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.