Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.