My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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