seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
