what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
what day is it and did you see me today?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
