He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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