I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
