Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
