thus making me awesome and them whores
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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