listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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