if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
