dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
high people should be assigned attendants
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Houston, we have a blender
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
