May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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