wat bout pragnant strippers??
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize