you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
