So drunk its hurt
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
