i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
