I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
