and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
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You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
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I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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