its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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