Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
