It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
