I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize