yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
