you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize