Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
