i think my tv is drunk
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
