do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
it's like iHOP with fire
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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