I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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