What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
