I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
