I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
