She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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