I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I want a musical about memes.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
