There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize