Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
