Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
