dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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