...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
