So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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