yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
