Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
