Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Randomize
