ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You're like the curious george of whores
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
