Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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