Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
