So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
