dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
