What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
