Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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