you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
