I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
