You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize