So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
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