I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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