do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
