I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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