My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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