Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
