yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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