Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
