Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
