Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
