He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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